Focal dystonia may have changed my hand, but not my vision.
When your body forces you to slow down, hustle culture tells you that you’re falling behind. It equates constant output with worth, framing anything else as failure. For a long time, navigating an undiagnosed neurological condition that impacted how my hand worked felt like a direct attack on my identity as an illustrator and a painful realization that no amount of hard work or grinding can protect you from things completely out of your control.
For Dystonia Awareness Month, I wanted to highlight the digital canvas that allows me to make my portraits. My tools and physical process look entirely different today. My creativity didn’t just stop when my hand stopped working, so I had to evolve the way I create. I mainly build vector artwork now.
We need to normalize the reality that making art is indeed a form of physical labor, and that creativity isn’t about struggle or grinding yourself into useless dust. Validate where you are and allow some of that friction to be your fuel.
Task-specific focal dystonia is a neurological movement disorder affecting fine motor skills. The brain sends the wrong signals to a specific group of muscles, causing them to cramp, tighten, or spasm only when you perform a very specific, highly practiced activity—like playing a musical instrument, writing, typing, or drawing.
