This post is a bit of a mash-up, covering a large span of time. I’ve shared portions of these experiences in more detail before, so this blog offers a broader overview with the more detailed content provided for further viewing.
While those last few blogs were a bit of fun childhood nostalgia, this one gets into the deeper turning points of the journey.
This is not a drill.
Now almost 20, I was juggling three jobs, trying to make community college work, and figuring out life on my own in my first tiny, broke-down apartment.
One day, sitting at my clunky desktop computer, a hand-me-down from my dad and one of the few things I owned, that familiar dial-up screech faded away. Moments later, an Instant Message popped up. But not just any IM, it was from Janet Jackson’s personal and creative partner, part of the team whose music and visuals I had admired for years. I stared at the screen for a second, my heart racing, wondering if it was real.
Spoiler: it was. And it was about to change this girl’s life.
The Next Chapter: Behind the Music, Merch.
A few years after my brush with greatness, I moved to California to join my long-distance partner of several years. And with new confidence instilled in me through Janet’s support, I managed to turn my interest for music and design into an actual career. Soon, I was creating apparel and merchandise for some of the biggest names in music. Cool, right? At first, yeah. But the deeper I got, the more I started to notice something unsettling.
While hip-hop and R&B were ruling the charts, Black artists didn’t seem to get the same licensing and merchandising support from the corporate side that I saw white artists getting. I finally worked up the nerve to ask why.
It forced me to take a hard look at the industry, my role in it, and how I had unknowingly played into the problem.
When the Work You Love Turns Into a Mysterious Disorder
At the height of my career, my right hand, the instrument I’d spent years training, started to fail me. It started small, just some annoying stiffness and pain here and there, but it quickly escalated. Soon, my fingers curled inward, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t control my hand. Drawing precision? Gone. Grip strength? Nope!
It felt like I was losing everything I’d worked for, and I had no idea why (and neither did the doctors).
Eventually, I learned it was something called focal dystonia; a neurological functional movement disorder that interferes with the muscles that do fine, repetitive tasks. It was like a full-on attack of my creative output, my emotional lifeline, and my livelihood.
However, that actual diagnosis wouldn’t come for over a decade. So after some years of pushing through, I had to face the reality: my hand wouldn’t work the way it used to, and I had no idea what was next.
My podcast shares the story and details of this disorder in greater depth. Listen here.
Epilogue
You should know that my Janet Jackson artwork didn’t stop there. Over the past three decades, I continued to create the largest collection of original artwork featuring the music icon. You can explore much of it here.
Janet Jackson Art Collection: Over 100 Original Illustrations Celebrating Her Iconic Career
The Origin Story Continues
This is a journey over 30 years in the making, you got here just in time!
Sign up today so you don’t miss the next chapter.
